Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Stiffness

[Three years ago today, on my fortieth birthday, I posted this tongue in cheek piece regarding my thoughts, and feelings about the trauma of turning forty. After some hunting round the web, I also found the photo (taken by me at the Tate Modern) which accompanied the original post, which to me; was very funny, but nobody else seemed to think so. Please have a look (still tongue in cheek thank god) and enjoy.]

The Tate Modern:  standing very proud.


I’m worried about getting old. I’ve got a couple more days left where I can honestly say “Yea, I’m in my 30’s too.” I remember going to a surprise party years ago for a relative who was turning 40.

     Him and he’s friends all seemed so old.

     The music at the party was so ancient.

     Last year when my friend went through the 40 barrier I have to admit I took the piss quite a lot. And although she’s not said anything about my approaching birthday I know she’s just biding her time to rip into me with the 40’s gags! But the thing that really worries me is I keep seeing an advert on TV, staring Pele, that goes something like:

     “In your 40’; got problems maintaining your erection?”

     Now I don’t mind starting to wear beige comfortable trousers, or even listening to cricket on the radio, but I refuse to get fortied-up in the bedroom! The ad implies that it will happen over night. I’ll just wake-up one morning; and it’ll be Mr Floppy! No never, I’ll fight that one till the end. But hey, worse comes to worse there’s always Viagra and the world’s greatest footballer I suppose.

10 comments:

  1. I loved this post; thank you for making me laugh. :)

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  2. Bahaha...i had the same stuff occur to me when i hit my forties, but hey im 44 and still going strong in more ways than one hehe

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  3. I can´t even remember being forty - too far back. But I know its not true about the floppy bit. Works as well as ever, if anything it has more stamina. Like sopmeone once said and I quote "it takes me all night to do what I used to do all night". That about sums it up :)

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  4. I love the pic! Tastefully gross.

    And as for forty, I'd rather not think about it at all. If men become Mr. Floppy, what he heck happens to women? Will I find a lump in my breast only to discover that it's not a lump, it's just my kneecap? I've got less than two years to find out, I suppose.

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  5. Great photo! Why is it that people expect us to fall apart when we hit a milestone birthday? You've survived three years beyond--and still blogging! Looks like the forties has not been too cruel to you. Stand proud, Dicky! ;D

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  7. Starlight – Thank you, I’m glad it made you laugh.

    Dan – The same here!

    Joe – Nice quote: thank you.

    Nessa – Your comment is so funny. Thank you for visiting.

    Jayne – I think I’m holding up OK, if you know what I mean.

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  8. I like this post

    I am not afraid of getting old... I am just afraid of getting old AND SICK..

    off to weightwatchers now... I have found myself farting when I try to climb the field gate

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  9. John Grey - Thanks John. Yes I feel the same about getting "old and sick."

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  10. Your photo made me chuckle and I loved the post too, glad you re-posted.

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All comments gratefully received.

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