Tuesday, February 07, 2012

100 Words: Best laid plans

[‘Best laid plans’ is an edited version of a post that I put on another blog back in June 2009. I’ve changed a sentence or two; to fit it into 99 words, and to make it OK for a non anonymous blog. I hope my feelings, and sentiments come over. This will be the first of two posts this week about my daughters.]

I can hear the sound of her fingers whizzing across the laptop keyboard, as she types, and talks to me on the phone at the same time. 
     ‘I don’t think your life is rubbish.’ 
     ‘Well it’s been rubbish up to now. Look at everything that’s happened—’ she replies, entering uncharted waters with me.  I pause, Do you mean me leaving?’ 
     ‘Yea, that’s part of it—,’ 
Then: the silence that you only get on a phone. An electronic, static hiss that screams. 
She speaks: ‘I don’t know what to say.’ 
And neither do I. 

10 comments:

  1. Sometimes the wisest thing we can say to our kids is that we don't have all the answers, don't you think?

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  2. 99 words and boatload of emotion. The static hiss does scream, doesn't it?
    Your shorts are done so skillfully, Dicky. Waiting on the second installment...

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  3. great once again. you're really good at these 99 words posts, i'm always sucked right in and never disappointed.
    side note: when i clicked over here, i thought it was going to be about freddie from scooby doo, because he's always the one coming up with the plans. :)

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  4. Beautifully written Dicky - our children have a way of making us feel guilty for our past actions - while we always forgive them for theirs.

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  5. So strong. Really hard hitting, and true. I can relate so much to this.

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  6. cor blimey...that was a good one man...as jayne said that static/silent bit does scream doesnt it?

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  7. Brilliant, solid work. There isn't a single thing missing from this piece and nothing that could be taken away.
    Perfect!

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  8. Great writing as always. I changed my URL slightly, wanted to make sure you knew...
    http://www.mywalkabout.net/

    As always, thanks for your support!

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All comments gratefully received.